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Trying On Boots and Other Feats of Great Strength

Have you ever gone boot shopping and more particularly gone boot shopping at a store like Nordstrom Rack? For those of us who like a deal-Tory Burch or Frye boots-it’s worth it. But the sacrifice is one’s pride.

A very personal experience and exposure between two skinny rows of shoes must happen.

Purse strewn, old boots flung and pitiful looking, scared from many hurried moments from house to snow bank to car from last winter.

And so it begins. You pull on a pair of Coach heeled boots with no zipper. You know what that means. It’s like when a you take a sleeping bag out of it’s miraculously small canvas cover and then try to put it back in. Those boots are on to stay. And it will require leverage and muscle usage to get them off. In between other shoppers squeezing by your bum, “oh pardon me”, you pretend like nothing’s wrong but all the while you know what has to happen: you’re gonna have to use both hands and legs and pull these boots off in front of everyone.

The next pair you try has a definite zipper escape plan. No more $300 pirate boots for you. These look nice. Zip-think-What’s going on? Oh. Calf explosion somehow is impeding the upward zipper motion. I’m sorry did my leg get in the way of the zipper? Let me just go ahead and give up because that zipper is going nowhere fast.

And then after months of searching you finally find the boot that works for you. And you think….you’re the one I’ve been waiting for all this time. The other ones were not meant to me. You’re the one boot, you’re the one.

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